Kairos Coffee Dates
Kairos Coffee Dates Here's our Kairos ideas and guidelines behind Coffee Dates! We are starting with the idea that learning to date is just that - something that needs to be LEARNED! First thing we are going to do is redefine “date” for our own purposes. Date - A public, social engagement where two people spend time together, share conversations, build relationships, and have FUN! In the definition itself you see what the “goals” of a date are. Keep those goals in mind as wego through this lesson AND as you go on future dates. Defining “dates” in this way is going to make it possible for some really great things to happen. First, it’s going to allow people (same gender or not) to get to know each other better! It's great to spend time with people at Kairos every week, but spending some time with them outside of Kairos will help everyone be at a whole new level of relationship and friendship. Second, it’s going to remove any potential awkwardness about what anyone’s intentions are for a “date.” God says that “loving people” is important. How do we love people? We get to do know them! How do we do that? We meet up and share life with them. Third, it’s going to have the benefit of giving you a great opportunity to LEARN how to interact with other people without the pressure of how the world defines “dating!” Fourth, you are going to find out what characteristics, traits and qualities you like and don’t like in others – specifically of the opposite gender. Then when you are ready to move past these “dates” into a committed relationship, there will be every opportunity for a smooth and healthy transition. Hopefully this is sounding really good to you so far, to the point where you are asking the question, “How do we make this happen?!!” Well – here’s the plan. We are going to encourage “coffee dates” (using our NEW definition!) as a part of normal Kairos life. The key to success here is going to be based on everyone having a solid concept of how we define this. Here’s our “Coffee Date” definition, then we will work through what it is and isn’t. Kairos Coffee Date - A public, social engagement where two people spend time together, share conversations, build relationships, and have FUN! Kairos Coffee Dates area NOT about… -gender. They are about building relationships. (That said, we recommend that if you are married or in a committed dating relationship, you NOT pursue a Coffee Date with the opposite gender.) -commitment. They are for fun, growing and learning. -coffee! You can drink tea, or not order anything. Kairos Coffee Dates ARE about… -each person paying their own way. -either person initiating the date. -a learning experience of asking someone to meet you, being responsible to be on time and communicate, and learning how to ask questions and listen to the other person. -an opportunity for the person asking as well as the person being asked. So to that end, we encourage you to say “yes” if at all possible. You might just learn something, and you might also have the opportunity to help someone else learn something. Here’s the best part of the whole process, the One Rule - We ask that you do NOT go on a Coffee Date with the same person twice in a row. That will both protect you from anyone wanting to bypass the process and jump straight to a relationship, and it will help you to interact with others and learn that much more. Follow this one rule, and the potential for good that can come from these coffee dates is pretty big. Wrapping it all up, we do not want Kairos marriages, engagements, dating, or relationships to look anything like what the world says is "normal." We are praying that these coffee dates provide a safe way for you to learn about how to interact WITHOUT the negative expectations (and consequences) of traditional "dating." Now you can learn how to ask someone out to coffee, stay in a non-threatening environment and walk away from the evening with zero expectations that you have to change your Facebook status! Or even meet again with that same person!